Joe Holland writes:

They sit there next to you and their feet don’t even hit the floor. You’re thinking, “What, if anything of this guy’s sermon is sinking into my kid’s head?” And with that little thought you’ve already decided not to engage your child about the sermon. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Let me introduce you to the most important rule when talking to your kids about the sermon: They retain more than you think they do. The second most important rule is like it: They understand more than you think they do.

In the interest of these two truths I’m writing this brief guide on how to talk to your kids about a sermon. I’m writing it both as a preacher and as a parent of four boys under the age of 8. I’ve failed, succeeded, and failed some more at talking to my kids about Jesus. Hopefully the tips you find below will help you as they’ve helped me.

At the heart of the gospel is Jesus introducing us to his loving Father. In worship we get to make a similar introduction—we get to introduce our kids to Jesus. Don’t miss that opportunity.

8 Tips for Talking to your Kids about the Sermon:

1. Remember the outline. It doesn’t matter if you keep written notes or not. Remember the gist of what is being taught. If your pastor preaches for 40 minutes, then try to make a mental note of what you’ve covered at the 20 minute point. Don’t be discouraged if you can’t get every point. Get as many of the big ones as you can.
2. Know the one, main point. Every passage and every sermon—no matter what your pastor says—has a main point. Grab it when you see it go by and don’t let go. And as a word of caution, every preacher has a bad day. Sometimes the structure of the sermon looks like a piece of abstract art. If so, do the best you can. But don’t let the guy close in prayer without having a main point in your head.
3. How is Jesus the hero? Now that you have an outline and main point, make sure you have Jesus too. How was Jesus the hero of the sermon? Kids are incorrigibly self-centered—and so are more than a few adults. Make sure you have a ton to say about Jesus, no matter what the passage or where the preacher went with it. Without an emphasis on Jesus your little saints will grow up thinking that the Bible is all about them.
4. Engage your kids with open ended questions. You know the outline and you can keep to the main point. You know you’re going to talk a ton about Jesus. Now engage your kids with any kind of question you can think of… except ones that can be answered, “yes” or “no”. Here are some examples:

•  In the story questions: “What would have thought if you were an Israelite soldier and saw big ol’ Goliath walking up to little David?”
•  Emotions questions: “If you were blind, how would you feel if Jesus put his hands on your eyes and fixed them so they could see?”
• Leading questions: “The rich young ruler was wrong because he thought he could earn God’s favor. Why is it silly to think we can earn God’s favor by doing enough good things?”
• Action questions: “What would you have done if Jesus had made a hurricane turn into a gentle breeze right in front of you?”
• Application questions: “If Jesus has forgiven you, do you think you can forgive Tommy when he wings a Tonka truck at your head?”
• Use your imagination questions: You know your kids best. Make up some questions.

5. Make sure the gospel is clear. Jesus died for sinners. It’s very simple and can get very complex. But no matter the passage, don’t you dare teach your kids moralism. Tell them that Jesus has done everything necessary for them to know that God is overjoyed with them. When you tell them to do something, feel something, or think something, show them how those things are motivated by God’s love and not by fear, guilt, or pride.
6. Be the first to pray and confess. Talking to your kids about the sermon is as much letting them watch you learn from the sermon as it is teaching them about the sermon. If the preacher is helping your congregation diagnose sin, show your kids how it affected you. You could say, “You know, sometimes, daddy struggles with being angry. And it’s then that I realize how much I really need Jesus.” And when it comes time to pray, let them pray after you. Model for them what it looks like for a Christian to talk to God.
7. Chase rabbit trails. Your kids will lead you down them. Go with them. You’ll find out a ton about how they think. And you may just enjoy the unexpected stroll off the beaten path.
8. Remember the first two rules. After all this, it may be you feel like it was a complete waste of time. It’s at that point you must remember the first two rules:

• They retain more than you think they do.  
• They understand more than you think they do.

And I promise you this, they will remember these times with you. They will forget a ton. But they won’t forget Sunday afternoons with daddy and mommy talking about Jesus.

 

Michael Reeves writes:

“It is not to be expected that we should love God supremely if we have not known him to be more desirable than all other things.” So wrote the great hymn writer Isaac Watts. And of course, he was quite right, for we always love what seems most attractive to us. Whether it be God, money, sex, or fame, we live for and love what captures our hearts.

But what kind of God could outstrip the attractions of all other things? Could any unitary, single-person god do so? Hardly, or at least not for long. Single-person gods must, by definition, have spent eternity in absolute solitude. Before creation, having no other persons with whom they could commune, they must have been entirely alone.

Love for others, then, cannot go very deep in them if they can go for eternity without it. And so, not being essentially loving, such gods are inevitably less than lovely. They may demand our worship, but they cannot win our hearts. They must be served with gritted teeth.

How wonderfully different it is with the triune God.

Read more »

Graeme Goldsworthy writes:

For any Christian for whom prayer is becoming formal and stereotyped, the Psalms provide a rich source of inspiration. It is true that to read the Psalms on your knees, as it were, can be a great boost to one’s prayer experience. The book of Psalms provides the most sustained and concentrated biblical expressions of prayer. There are two qualifications I would make to this recommendation to resort directly to the Psalms for prayer.

The first is to remember that that Psalms express the believer’s response to the revelation of God when it was yet to be completed with the coming of Jesus. All the details of the individual psalms need to be refracted through their fulfilment in Christ. The Christian needs to develop a sense of the way Israelite functionaries (king, prophet, priest, wise man, ordinary believer), places (Jerusalem, Zion, promised land) and institutions (temple and its ministry, sacrifice, feasts such as Passover) are all given their definitive expression in the person and work of Christ. The same must be said for the frequently referred to acts of God in creation, redemption and judgment.

The second qualification is that the Psalms are only one part of the progression of revelation about prayer. We should never isolate the specific forms of expression in the Psalms from prayer as it is revealed in prophetic eschatology, in the person of Jesus, and in the post-resurrection prayers of the Apostles.

Source: Prayer and the Knowledge of God (IVP), pages 139-40 (paragraphing added for ease of reading).

Every decade or so, dreadful scandals involving certain evangelical celebrities arise, and they hamper the witness even of faithful churches. Such scandals could be avoided if Christians paid better attention to God’s instructions regarding elders in 1 Timothy 5:17–25. In a nutshell, he tells us to seek the Lord and practice presbyterianism.

But where does this passage mention presbyterianism? Everywhere! The Greek word translated “elder” gives us the synonym presbyter. A council of elders is a “presbytery” (1 Tim. 4:14). And from that word we get presbyterianism—a term that refers to church government by councils of elders.

In this passage, the Holy Spirit speaking through the apostle Paul gives us three ways to seek the Lord and practice presbyterianism.

First, he instructs us to respect our elders in a Christ-centred way: “The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honour, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching” (v. 17). Above all, this means that we should honour them as Christ’s official representatives. Christ alone is the Head of the Church, but he rules it by his Word and Spirit through his office-bearers. Therefore, he delegates some of his own authority to the elders. They function as Christ’s official representatives to the Church, clothed in Christ’s authority. It’s for Christ’s sake, then, that we’re to respect our elders’ authority (see also 1 Thess. 5:12, 13; Heb. 13:17).

But there’s a flip side. One way that we honour Christ’s representatives is by steadfastly refusing to recognize as office-bearers those who are not lawfully ordained and installed. There’s no shortage of self-ordained “ministers” on radio and TV and the internet and throughout our communities. But if they don’t have a lawful calling, then it’s our duty under our Lord Jesus Christ not to honour them as ministers. Verse 18 expands on the “honour” that’s due to those who are lawfully ordained and installed: “For the Scripture says, ‘Do not muzzle the ox while it is treading out the grain,’ and ‘The worker deserves his wages.’ ”

Clearly this means that congregations should pay their pastors (see also 1 Cor. 9:14). But notice: verse 17 also mentions ruling elders. You see, it’s right for us to recognize extra involvement. For example, if a ruling elder sacrifices vacation time to go to a presbytery or general assembly meeting, wouldn’t it be good to honour him financially? If he puts a lot of miles on his vehicle attending to church business, wouldn’t it be good to honour him financially? God calls upon us to respect our elders in a Christ-centred way.

Second, the Lord instructs us to correct our elders in a Christ-centred way. This is especially a role of the session (the council of elders of the local church) or the presbytery  (the council of elders of the regional church). It includes protecting elders from sinful accusations: “Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses” (v. 19). The Bible insists that a church court may not convict anyone except on the testimony of two or three witnesses. But in the case of elders, the church isn’t even to receive accusations without that many witnesses!

Why should there be such special treatment? Because God knows that Satan works overtime to stir up trouble. He aims to alienate people from their spiritual leaders. His reason for that is to distance them from the means of grace. John Calvin’s comments on this verse are still pertinent:

It is necessary to guard against the malice of men in this way. For none are more exposed to slanders and insults than godly teachers. This comes not only from the difficulty of their duties, which are so great that sometimes they sink under them, or stagger and halt or take a false step, so that wicked men find many occasions of finding fault with them; but added to that, even when they do all their duties correctly and commit not even the smallest error, they never avoid a thousand criticisms. It is indeed a trick of Satan to estrange men from their ministers so as gradually to bring their teaching into contempt. In this way not only is wrong done to innocent people whose reputation is undeservedly injured, but the authority of God’s holy teaching is diminished. And it is this that … Satan is chiefly concerned to achieve ….

At the same time, the council of elders must protect the church from sinful elders. Verse 20, still speaking of elders, says, “Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning.” Elders, then, are to get special treatment not only when they are accused. Because they are responsible to represent Jesus Christ in a special way, they are to be judged all the more severely if they are found guilty.

In all these cases, however, we should not take sides automatically: “I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions without partiality, and to do nothing out of favouritism” (v. 21). It’s human nature to prejudge a case (“I like that guy, so he must be right,” or “That guy rubs me the wrong way, so he must be wrong”). But by God’s grace—no matter who is involved or how we feel—we are to seek Christ’s side! Seek the Lord and practice presbyterianism.

Even so, our Lord warns us not to expect a perfect church in this life. Verse 24 says, “The sins of some men are obvious, reaching the place of judgement ahead of them; the sins of others trail behind them.” As long as we are on this side of glory, there will be sinners in the church—and that includes you and me—and, unhappily, there will be hypocrites.

Knowing this doesn’t mean that we should try to read hearts! A pastor once proved that he did not do something he had been accused of. His accuser quickly retorted, “Well, you thought it!” God condemns such presumption. “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7). Don’t pretend to read thoughts and motives. Only God can do that. To try, then, is to play God, and that’s a serious sin!

Third, God calls us to select our elders in a Christ-centred way. We should be diligent to seek and train men for office. But we should never be overly eager to ordain and install them: “Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, and do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourselves pure” (v. 22). We can create a lot of trouble by failing to “wait on the Lord” in this matter!

Still, don’t despair of finding qualified officers. The Lord knows how discouraged we can get! So he reassures us, “In the same way, good deeds are obvious, and even those that are not cannot be hidden” (v. 25). Keep seeking and training gifted men. And above all, seek the Lord! Sooner or later, he’ll bring to the surface the gifts and graces of his men for the task. So don’t become weary in well doing. Seek the Lord and practice presbyterianism!

Why do you think verse 23 (“use a little wine because of your stomach”) is there? Some seem to think it’s there so alcohol-sipping Christians can poke fun at teetotalers. But why is wine mentioned in this context? I think the reason is that diligent Christ-centered church leadership involves stress. God inspired the apostle Paul’s expression of concern for Timothy’s stomach problems. In this way, God encourages us to be sensitive to the fact that faithful pastors and elders face tremendous pressures.

Christians sometimes fail to obey God’s instructions regarding the selection and treatment of elders. This sets the scene for grievous scandals. We can avoid many of these problems if we faithfully follow our Lord. Trust and obey! Keep seeking the Lord and keep practicing presbyterianism.

Reprinted (slightly edited) from New Horizons, June-July 1991.